I turned 28 just a week ago – thats almost 30! I still feel like a clueless 18 year old most of the time.
Over the past few months in particular I’ve been looking at people around me that are of the same sort of age – and everyone seems to have their shit together. But I sure as hell don’t! I don’t know what all the settings on my washing machine do, I don’t know what the difference is between all these different gas and electric tariffs and I still wish my mam would book all my doctors appointments! I’m not sure if I want children, I’ve only just discovered you can defrost bagels in the toaster! I’ve lived in my house for 4 years now and this summer I only now realised I had a fricking washing line out in the back garden! All I am certain of is that I want more dogs and I need to be an annual pass holder at Disney World!
Im not a very well “put together” adult. Growing up really scares me and I’m really bad at adapting to change. So I just wanted to talk about turning 28 and while you’re here give you a little life update;
Most of the people in my life are aware by now; but in case I haven’t caught everyone up, China unfortunately isn’t happening for me – I’m gutted but I’m dealing with it, I spent a few weeks really upset and it felt like I was grieving for the opportunity I had lost. All the money that was raised has still gone to Mental Health UK, and the charity party I organised is still going ahead at the end of this month – tickets are still available if anyone is wanting to come – I would love to feel everyones support on the night as
this decision was not an easy one to make, I still want to host a great night in honour of Mental Health UK and to raise a toast (or two!) to celebrate all of the other guys that are still going out there next month and smashing the Great Wall of China to pieces! They really are some of the most incredible people Ive ever met. I do feel that I personally achieved a lot since finding out I was chosen, so it would be lovely to celebrate that too!
I’m no longer able to continue with the challenge as my own mental health is not in a great place at the moment, I’m still working a lot on myself and seeing my counsellor as well as exploring other self help methods and trying to get my medication right so that it works for me. But I’m just not ready for such a challenge – maybe next year hey! I don’t want to go into to much detail as its a super negative memory that I don’t want to dwell on, but the training weekend in The Peak District back in June brought on a lot of anxiety that I wasn’t expecting to impact me as much as it did, but it was unbearable and really held me back.
Something else I wanted to talk about was my birthday, we spent the week of my birthday down in Devon, I celebrated my 28th in the best way possible – cute coffee shops on the beach, eating halloumi chips with Rhys, visiting the Donkey Sanctuary then had beers and some food in the evening. We finished the night off on the beach with the full moon bouncing down onto the sea, it was the perfect relaxing birthday that I needed. I was spoilt with some lovely cards and gifts this year – as always and I really appreciate every single birthday wish I received.
Now that I’m 28 and I’ve spent at least half of being 27 freaking out because I don’t know how to adult properly! I’ve had a little think, and I don’t want to spend all of being 28 worrying about turning 30! I want to set some motivational goals for myself – both in my blogging life and my personal life too. I know I want to dedicate specific time to write and work on Approach with Coffee, it makes me feel so good putting together something thats creative and all me. I think it helps my friends and family understand maybe why I’m not always present or fully myself, and I hope that if anyone that reads my blogs can relate to me that I help them feel less alone in this big old world!! As well as dedicating more time to write I also really want to work on my photography and the images that I upload. I’m not always 100% proud of images I use but now I have a really high quality camera I have no excuses.
In my personal life I want to continue pushing on with finding a way of living with my mental health in a more balanced and healthy way, were its not stopping me from taking on exciting new challenges or socialising. I want to continue walking, when I was training for China I found those long hikes up in the mountains really helped clear my head. I would love to still push myself physically too.
Im going to leave it there now, I just wanted to check in as it’s been a while and explain why I’ve not uploaded recently, if there’s anything you would like to see on Approach with Coffee in the future, or theres a specific topic you would like to see me write about please leave your feedback in the comments. Thank you to everyone for the Birthday love and heres to NOT BEING 30 YET!!!